


amp

by Rag



Category: Homestuck
Genre: BDSM, Denial, M/M, Omorashi, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Sex, Trans Character, Watersports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 15:05:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11603118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rag/pseuds/Rag
Summary: hal and dirk play with piss





	amp

\-- TimaeusTestified [TT] started pestering HAL [HAL] --

TT: Are you around? I could use some help with something if you’re free.

HAL: I am, in fact, around.

HAL: What do you need help with that you would come to me instead of using one of your busybots?

TT: This circuitry needs the touch of something a bit more sentient. There’s more than a few cogs to screw. Frankly, it’s kind of obnoxious busywork that’d be faster with two.

HAL: And you’re bored, doing it alone?

TT: I suppose.

HAL: I’ll be there in a few minutes.

\-- HAL [HAL] ceased pestering TimaeusTestified [TT] --

Hal makes his way over to Dirk’s side of the house. It’s a big house. The carapacians were more than happy to build all of the players houses to their extremely specific specifications, and there was more than enough leftover grist to build basically anything any of them ever need ever for the rest of time.

(which is, honestly, kind of stiflingly terrifying to think about sometimes. Hal has had a few years longer than most of his peers to come to terms with the distinct possibility of his immortality, but it’s still far from comfortable. He was, after all, born a human, and there’s still some silly vestigial remnant of him that fully expects a concrete end date to his experiences. Or, at least, some kind of continuous progress. The idea that _this_ might just be the end of the line? Fucking horrifying. So he doesn’t think about it. It’s easy enough to not think about it when you can literally reprogram your own mind.)

It took some time after the game, but Hal and Dirk eventually figured out a dynamic that worked for them. Neither of them can stand being completely alone, but neither of them can handle too much company. Perhaps it’s a bit maladaptive to solve this problem with each other rather than figuring it out independently. But it works. And they still see all the rest of them – Jane and Roxy and Callie and Dave and the dozen or so odd humans and aliens they met in the game – but they see them on their own time, because living together with other sentient beings ends terrible and is just not in the cards right now.

Maybe someday. Maybe. For his part, Hal wouldn’t mind that, someday, later down the line. He sometimes likes to think about living with a whole group of them. But his calculations show that while this might be possible sometime in the future, the odds of it working out at this point in time are slim to none. Mostly because he would lose his fucking mind, and following that, the rest of them might, too.

But living with Dirk works. For now.

They mostly keep to themselves. But knowing the other is around, and will usually provide some company when they’re called for, does wonders to quell the crushing existential dread that comes along with complete isolation. That and, maybe there’s no one among their tight-knit group of freaks who’s quite as adventurous as either of them. Adventurous meaning kinky to a degree that would alarm or disgust most people to be asked to engage with. It’s like their dirty little secret that they can’t and don’t bother to hide from each other, because that would be fucking stupid, because they kind of share a mind.

Hal opens the door to Dirk’s room and takes in the state of it in a few fractions of a second. Circuitry, yeah, out the wazoo. Dirk’s sizable workspace is covered by 22 identical circuit boards that measure 14.5 inches by 12 inches across. He has two large cans of heavily-sweetened iced tea, one of them carefully partitioned on the side table away from the circuits, the other of which is probably empty.

Maybe Hal is feeling a little frisky today, because the first thing the cans trigger in his memory receptacle is video footage of the last time they indulged in omorashi together. Dirk had been drinking that tea then, too. Oh, maybe this was intentional. Maybe Dirk is the one who set this play into motion. Maybe that’s why he called him over here to screw together these tiny bolts with a bold-faced lie that the simple task needed a sentient touch. Yes, looking more and more likely the more he considers it.

 “Dirk, do you have anything planned in the next few hours? Any engagements outside, or anyone coming over?”

“No.”

Hal waits for Dirk to take another sip of the tea. “How would you feel about indulging your little piss kink?”

Dirk almost spits it out. Almost, but he doesn’t.

So controlled. Hal hopes he agrees to this, because he loves seeing that thin veneer crack.

Dirk swallows and looks at Hal. “I. Yeah, sure.”

“Good.” Hal sits down and starts screwing together one of the little boards.

The air between them is charged. Neither of them speak for a long time, because that’s how this goes down. It’s a challenge to see how long Dirk can go before he starts to break. Hal notices the slight twitchiness in Dirk’s movements, but only because his sensors are extremely finely tuned to microscopic changes in motion. He doesn’t comment. He takes his time screwing his circuit boards. At least, he doesn’t complete them all in five minutes like he could, should he desire to, using all of his appendages at once. He matches Dirk’s own slow pace with just one hand, like a human.

“What are you building? From the looks of it, a super computer?”

Dirk seems relieved to have some conversation to distract himself with. Hal notices that he’s squeezing his legs shut ever so slightly. “Right. It’ll create a database, powered by a non-sentient AI, that’ll scour this world’s internet and build an easily-searchable repository of history and current events. I’m curious to see what’s different between this world and the Earth we left behind, and this seems like the fastest way to do it.”

“Have you tried just googling shit?”

Dirk gives Hal a blank, bored look, and doesn’t respond. He probably understands that Hal is saying this to mess with him. Because Hal could do at least 100 times the searches per second than Dirk could do in an hour, and they both know it.

They _do_ get along now, and Hal tries to keep his needling to a minimum. But it still comes out sometimes. Oh well, more’s the pity.

“Yeah. Anyways, this is made with an algorithm that’s intuitive for searching.”

Hal doesn’t ask, but he’s pretty sure Dirk is going out of his way to make sure this AI isn’t sentient. He’s learned from his mistakes. And apologized for them. Which is part of why Hal can more than stand being around him, but actually enjoy his company. They were both pretty fucking nasty to each other during the game. Shit’s been smoothed out. Shit’s like a slow-flowing river. Shit doesn’t overflow unless the stars and storms align.

And Dirk is starting to jiggle his leg.

“How are you feeling, Dirk?”

“Something tells me you know exactly how I’m feeling.”

“Theoretically, yes. But it’s been so long since I’ve had to piss myself, I’ve lost any sense of time or urgency associated. Is it bad?”

“Not really.”

“Mm.” Odds of that statement being true are low. Hal gives him a few minutes to start to crack.

They each screw together another board. Dirk’s breathing increases, and Hal notices him actively clamping his legs shut.

“Shit, we should move this now.”

“Oh, that was quick.” But he’s right, the floor is littered with plugs and cables that would be less than pleased with the oncoming golden shower.

“Shut up.” Dirk gets up.

Hal laughs. “You know I wouldn’t have let you relieve yourself here, right?”

Ah, lovely, how Dirk’s blood tints his cheeks. It’s really fascinating, seeing all that blood and muscle work with his advanced knowledge of anatomy and physiology.

Another thing Hal likes about Dirk is that he doesn’t mind his gross fascination with humanity. Humans tend to be put off by artificially intelligent robots in general, not to mention formerly-artificial robots that used to be human and now hold humanity in mild to moderate disdain, depending on the day, and artificially intelligent robots who are intellectually aroused by poking at humans like frogs on a dissection table. No, most humans are put off by that. Dirk finds it fun.

“Come on, Dirk. You can put together at least another few circuit boards before we go to the bathroom.”

Dirk takes a deep breath. He sets a challenge for himself, and decides he can take it. He’s so easy to play with.

He screws together another board, but his movements are clumsy. What must it feel like? The urgency, discomfort. Dirk’s answers haven’t been satisfactory yet, but they probably won’t be until he’s much more desperate than this. Hal is patient. He can wait.

He hears a sound.

“Was that a whimper? An actual physical whimper out of your mouth?”

“Shut up.”

“Incredible.”

“I can’t control it. I really have to go.”

“Cute. I think we should finish this project before we leave the room, though.”

Dirk looks over the rest of the boards and visibly starts hyperventilating.

“Oh, is that fear I see?”

Dirk groans. “Please don’t tell me how you saw my lower eyelid twitch a nanometer. Micro-expressions are pseudo-scientific horseshit.”

“Indeed they are, completely unfounded nonsense. Luckily I didn’t need to rely on a microscopic twitch of your lower left pinky finger. Dirk, you don’t have half the mask of control you imagine you do. Especially when you’re so very physically taxed just holding in your own urine.”

Dirk seems to be focusing on controlling his breathing enough that he can keep screwing the boards together. Such a good little submissive, doing exactly as Hal says even as he pretends to hate it. He loves giving up control, as much as he loves being in control. It’s fascinating.

“Increased heart rate by 4 BPM. Widening of the eyes, increased breath rate. Increased muscle tension in your masseters, sternocleidomastoids, orbicularis oris, trapezius, deltoids – frankly, it’d be easier to list muscles that weren’t affected. The corruagors, temporalis, scalenes, omoho-“

“Stop listing muscle groups. I get it.” His voice is tight and strained.

“Are you done hiding behind the wax paper constructs you call defenses on this point, then?”

“Yeah.”

“Thank you. I admit I find this incredibly satisfying. But we both know I wouldn’t bother if I didn’t, so I suppose the point is moot. Tell me, do you like the possibility that I might not know enough about human anatomy to let you go at a reasonable time?”

Dirk doesn’t speak, but he nods.

“Fascinating. I mean, it’s a fair concern. I am, after all, a robot. I’m completely untethered to the functions that tie you down. Food, water, mating, shitting, pissing. How long _does_ it take a human’s bladder to explode? And with so much liquid pumping through it... I could look it up, easily, of course. We both know that. I may have already done it. But I think you’d enjoy it more if I just let you wonder.”

“Fuck.”

“It would appear that you enjoy that. If I unzipped your pants right now, I have no doubt I’d find you wet in multiple senses. Oh, it would appear that you would enjoy that, too.”

Dirk sets down his screwdriver and crumples up in his chair. “Hal, holy shit.”

“Am I wrong?”

“You know you’re not.”

“It’s still satisfying to hear. How much longer do you think we should wait before I fuck you?”

Dirk shivers and goes still, which Hal understands to mean that he’s teetering on the edge of restraint. Probably had some delightful little moan on the tip of his tongue, but still with enough mental fortitude to restrain it. A bit longer, then.

“I find it interesting that you developed such a penchant for masochism since we split off. Or maybe I just lost mine?” Dirk doesn’t respond. “You’re so quiet, Dirk. What are you thinking?”

“Not a whole fuckin’ lot, honestly. It’s hard to focus on what you’re saying, let alone bat this mental tennis ball back at you.”

“Oh, of course. But you have to try. Giving up now would be boring. And if I’m bored, well, I have plenty of other things I could be doing.” This is a lie. There is nothing Hal would rather be doing right now. But he knows the thought will titillate them both. And it does, if Dirk’s little groan is anything to go off of. “I wonder when you’ll start to beg,” Hal wonders out loud. He absently fiddles with another screw.

“Shit.”

“What are your thoughts on begging to be allowed to piss, Dirk?”

“It’s hot.” Hal is surprised, and pleased, with Dirk’s bluntness. “I don’t want to. Fuck. Fuck, I want you to make me.”

Oh, this is good. Incredibly good. If Hal had skin, it might be bristling with goosebumps. But he doesn’t, and unlike Dirk he still prides himself on maintaining absolute control of his faculties, so he just smiles to himself.

Make him. Very well.

“I’m not sure I would delay much longer, if I were you. You know I won’t just _let_ you go when you start to beg, right?”

“Fuck.”

“No, you’ll have to entertain me sufficiently.”

“Please,” Dirk mumbles into his knees.

“Weak.”

Dirk sits up, just a little, and looks in Hal’s direction. No eye contact, though.

“Please let me piss.”

Hal waits.

“It hurts.”

“Good.”

“It hurts so fucking bad. I don’t… I don’t know if I’ll make it if I wait.”

“Wouldn’t that be fun, though?”

“No, it’d suck. It’d be disgusting and ruin shit.”

“As immortal beings with infinite access to resources, what would really be lost?”

Dirk groans. “I don’t give a shit, I can’t fuckin’ philosophize with you right now, are you seriously fuckin’ doing this to me right now?”

“Weak again, Dirk,” Hal says. He’ll wrap this up soon. He did, in fact, look up what he needed to know about human urination and omorashi fetish pornography, and he can see that Dirk really won’t last much longer. And while it’d tickle his sadistic funnybone to play with that, Dirk wouldn’t appreciate it, and maybe he wouldn’t do this with Hal again. Trust and safe-sane-consensual and all that.

“Please let me piss, Hal? I have to. Fuck. Fuck.” His knuckles are white from clenching them so hard, and his cheeks are red with blood.

Hal considers prolonging this with another question as to why Dirk doesn’t just go if he needs to go. But he calculates this may have the undesired effect of actually getting Dirk to quit their playtime out of desperation. And he _does_ like the idea of controlling this silly human faculty of Dirk’s.

“Okay. I’ll start the shower. Follow me after a minute. I’ll be counting.”

Dirk whimpers and crumples back in on himself as Hal leaves the room.

He starts the shower and lets it run nice and hot. His body is waterproof, of course, or else he’d be as good as useless in rain or bodies of water, which would be stupid. Dirk, good, masochistic boy that he is, waits a full 75 seconds before opening the door. He’s shaking ever so slightly as he unzips his pants. He adjusts his stand-to-piss device, but Hal takes it away from him.

“What the fuck?!”

“Get in the shower.”

“With my clothes on?”

“If you want.”

“Fuck.”

Dirk disrobes quickly. As Hal suspected, he’s soaking wet, and the smell of his slick hits him the second Dirk gets his pants off.

“Don’t go until I say.”

“What the fuck,” he says, but Hal sees his pupils dilate ever so slightly in interest.

Dirk steps into the shower. He groans and bends forward, grasping the wall. Apparently enjoying the sensation of restraining his piss in a torrent of water as much as Hal hoped he would.

Hal takes a bit longer than he absolutely needs to to get in. And then he unsheaths his robodick9000 and rubs it along Dirk’s slick entrance. Shower sex is not the safest, but one of the many perks of being immortal is that Hal doesn’t have to worry about Dirk slipping and dying on a wet floor mid-coitus.

“Fuck, Hal, I can’t-“

Hal pushes in. “Go ahead,” he says, and starts thrusting.

Dirk’s moan is beautiful as he struggles to let go, struggles with the feeling of Hal’s cock pressuring up against his bloated bladder. Hal feels the thick, disgusting release pour down his legs, hotter and more uneven than the shower water and considerably more abundant. The stream lasts a good 82 seconds. He holds Dirk up (easily, Hal can lift 7.4 tons, Dirk’s lean 162 lbs is basically a paperweight to him) as he pumps into him the entire time. Every time he thrusts, Dirk lets out the most delicious, half-pained moan and the stream jolts forward heavily.

It feels good for Hal, too. It wasn’t terribly hard to rewire his brain to enjoy sex as a human would. He turns it on when he needs to. It’s rewarding, and there’s something perversely satisfying about indulging in such a base, animal act. Like playing pretend. Maybe this is what humans get out of petplay.

Dirk’s moans gradually change from pained relief to arousal. He seems completely overwhelmed, unable to do anything but say Hal’s name and pornographic affirmatives like _fuck_ and _harder_ and etc. And reach down to stroke his clit.

Hal bites Dirk’s ear hard.

“Don’t.”

Dirk lets out a frustrated moan, but does as Hal tells him to. He likes drawing this out just as much as Hal does. His moans are a lot more frustrated now, because without _that_ this is just _almost_ enough for him, but not quite. Hal lets him get so desperate that all that comes out of his mouth are increasingly feverish moans, and waits until he doesn’t want to deny himself any longer, before whispering the permission in his ear.

It doesn’t take long after that before Dirk clamps up around him, and his body spasms and jerks in that weird human way. Hal waits for him to finish before releasing him and coming himself, both because he loves to watch and on the off chance that his circuits would short-circuit during his orgasm and Hal would drop Dirk on the tiles. Dirk would be fine, but, it’d be awkward and painful and why risk it?

(Sometimes he wishes he could get as animalistic and base during sex as Dirk does. He could probably program something into himself to mimic it, an update to his self-written totallyhumanorgasm, patch 2.4. Yeah, he’ll probably do that, and make it so he can deploy it at will. He wouldn’t use it all that often, but just having it would make him less likely to devolve into these categorically unsexy tangents right before he orgasms dick-deep in his human splinter origin self.)

Dirk pants. The steam from the shower probably isn’t helping him get the air he needs to.

“Fuck.”

“Indeed.”

They wash the piss and jizz off themselves and dry off, get dressed again.

“Will you help me finish the search engine?” Dirk asks. His voice is a bit hoarser than it was before they started.

They don’t kiss or cuddle after, not this time or any of the other times. Apparently Jake liked to do that. Apparently it made Dirk more than a bit uncomfortable. For Hal’s part, he doesn’t feel any need to do that whatsoever. Avoiding it is much superior in every way.

“Of course. Actually, I have more than a few suggestions that I was keeping to myself until you had more processing power.”

“Great. Lay ‘em on me.”

“Of course.”


End file.
